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Thursday, December 20, 2012

¡FELIZ NAVIDAD!

Another year-- it is impossible to believe that it has flown by so quickly.  A year ago, I was busy setting goals, delving into all sorts of projects, and planning how I would spend my spare time.  Now, everything has been accomplished.  Inaugural Labor of Love 5K-- my first experience as a race director, CHECK.  My first marathon-- St. Jude in Memphis, CHECK.  12 races completed in 2012-- CHECK.  Projects of all sorts at school, CHECK.  Mastery of the basic use of my Granny's sewing machine-- several quilts and pillows made, CHECK.  A happy demeanor, CHECK.  A hopeful spirit, CHECK




 
Happily, I will bring the confidence, sensitivity to others, willingness to take a risk, and joyful attitude gained by these projects into 2013.  Yet, just as I am finding my equilibrium, I realize that a year from now, things will be so different-- it seems most likely that we will have received a referral by then and possibly have brought our little one home.  ¡Ojalá!  Sé que no hay ninguna guarantía.  This year, there is minimal decoration in the house-- a tiny tree with a gold bow at the top, two little elves that my mom bought us for Christmas last year, a small Honduran nativity beside the snow globe with the holy family that used to sit in my Granny's house, holiday cards taped to the kitchen door, and mistletoe hung over our small entryway.  For now, Christmas is simple, no toys or tiny clothes coming into the house, small family gatherings, and trip with Mike's side of the family to the Florida Keys to relax and quietly celebrate one another's good company.  Over the course of next year, things will change.... we will be like the little family in my Granny's snow globe, embarking upon a new journey, a new adventure together.  We will probably decorate 2 Christmas trees and stockings will be hung over the mantel that Mike made this year.  Toys will litter the living room, Petey cat will have to give up one of his beds, laundry will become a nightly task.  There will be a children's car seat permanently mounted in the back of my car ... and will I be running with a stroller?  It is a pretty picture.  For now, I sit in my classroom gazing at the picture of our little one-- a printout of a cartoon/clipart baby in a photo frame.  Pues, por no tener tu foto, tengo que improvisar, Angelito.  It will be a beautiful day when we are all united as one family, but one that I know that I can't imagine or anticipate.  Tengo que confesar que a veces, sueño con este día-- pero trato de no hacerlo.... no quiero permitir que me mente piense demasiado en estas cosas porque no quiero contaminar el momento actual con expectativas.  Sé que el momento será perfecto-- así como sea. Until then, Mike and I continue moving forward slowly, celebrating the promise of each day until we receive that surprise call.... Last we heard at the end of October, we were number 29..... various online communities suggest that the numbers have probably moved one spot since then.  Supposedly, there was a meeting last Friday, and most likely, more international assignments were made, but it will be two weeks before families have to confirm or reject the referral-- and into January before IHNFA meets again to revise the list due to the Christmas holidays.  It has been said that the starting numbers for waiting families are now over 100.  Also, I am reading that greater effort is being made to move more children through the abandonment process.  Some suggest that as many as 50 children are moving through courts now, so that they could become adoptable during the upcoming year.  ¿Tal vez tú estás con este grupo?  Still, elections are coming up in Honduras, and that could mean more delays.  What does it all mean?  So many factors to consider.... it makes my mind spin..... and so I let go.  We are expectant, but enjoying where we are at and the promise of where we are going.  Y para ti, estoy imaginándote (una cara en las sombras), leyendo todo nuestro cuento, entiendo nuestro cariño, imaginándonos jovenes y sabiendo los resultados de todo lo que nos ha pasado como una familia.  Sé que ésta es parte del plan de Dios, el sendero que Él quiere que tomemos.... nuestra reunión un milagro así como el milagro de Navidad que nos da esperanza... y entre todos los proyectos que estoy haciendo, estoy sujetándole besos y abrazos a cada pensamiento de ti.  Feliz Navidad, Ángel.  Besitos para tus mejillas; que te sientas nuestros abrazos como una cobija y nuestro amor como una buena almohada.