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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Hace mucho tiempo.....

Hace mucho tiempo.....« it makes a long time » as they say in Spanish .... and yes it has been so long-- since the beginning of our journey, since first imagining what the journey would hold for us, since racing through the paperwork to bring home  Más 1 a little sooner, since turning in our dossier.  The last post has been forever ago, not because we have forgotten about our special little one, but because the waiting has been exhausting and things have interminably crept along and ultimately stalled.  It is hard to know what to tell people who are excited to see us complete our family.

Let me attempt to explain the rocky paths that we have traversed.  At the end of September, just after the translation of our dossier was finished in Honduras, the government agency that approves couples for adoptions and assigns children to waiting families was audited.  The first-lady of Honduras became involved in a thorough investigation of this agency, called IHNFA.  The director of the agency was suspended.  The union workers employed by the agency went on strike after not being paid for months.  Some alleged that there were irregularities in some adoptions.  I don't know how this could be possible when I consider the rigorous background checks and documentation that we needed to obtain in order to proceed with the process.  The papers never revealed specifics of these charges though.  In addition, the agency was apparently largely overstaffed.  Over 90% of the agency's budget was being utilized in salaries-- there were insufficient funds to take care of the kids that are supposed to be receiving care from IHNFA.  Things looked bleak and rather interminable from this side of the internet.  Every day meant a new search for news articles to connect me to Honduras-- La Prensa, El Heraldo, La Tribuna.  I scoured the web and devoured everything I could find, including the Honduras adoption group-- where I noticed that the posts seemed to trickle off as we all were afraid to post our fears, frustrations and overall impatience.  The unposted posts spoke for themselves. So for a while, there were overcast skies-- blackness, blankness, a cold blast of winter.

Even so..... Despite the rough patch, there has never been a loss of faith in what we felt at the beginning of this process.  This adoption is, without a doubt, the right thing for us-- and it is worth the bumps in the road, the layovers and delays, and the stress caused by seeing so many roadblocks. Siempre quiero que sepas-- eres una luz en nuestra vida.  Aunque el viaje ha sido difícil, vale la pena esperarte y no cambiaría nada. 

Blackness, blankness, a cold blast of winter, a sigh-- spring on the horizon.

Just this week, the adoption group and the newspapers are abuzz with news that suggests that things are about to move again.  They say-- A new director of IHNFA has been named.  A tentative meeting date to review dossiers (which means we could have a wait list number) and assign children has been set for February.  Maybe things will move slowly, but what could be more encouraging than a move forward!  So many wonderful people that I have met through this process could be blessed at this meeting and I continue to pray every day that all runs smoothly and that these special families might be brought together with their long awaited little ones soon.  I am hopeful. 

Regarding Mike and I, it is true that we are a long way from a referral, but.... PROGRESS.... that is a beautiful thought.

These last few months have been a test in patience more for me than Mike.  Mike is so calm.  I have been focusing on my running and yoga-- but not to take my mind off the adoption.  Rather, at the beginning of each yoga class or run, I set an intention-- and always, Más 1 is part of that intention.  Every physical activity receives my best effort and I send part of the positive energy gained right out to Honduras.  Since I can't take vitamins or eat organic foods to provide the "right" prenatal experience, I think that this least I can do.  Mike has been very supportive too-- In December, he encouraged me to work to achieve my personal best in a half marathon in Miami.  It may seem unrelated, but that race meant so much to me because conquering it symbolized to me that anything was possible.  Upon crossing the finish line, I realized that with God's help, unflagging patience, extreme endurance, and a flat determination not to give up, even those desires of our heart that seem unattainable are within our reach.  Eso significa que nunca perderé confianza en nuestro destino.  Seremos una familia.  Aunque no puedo contar los días porque no sé cuantos son, puedo notar el amor por ti duplicándose cada día, y no me preocupo.  Nuestro día llegará.