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Monday, July 23, 2012

Redefining "waiting"

Waiting-- that is what they call this period-- the monthes and maybe years when everyone is on the edge of their seat with baited breath-- "what news is there? Have the numbers moved?  What do you know?"  Everyone asks and we ask too.  In an age where you don't have to be very patient (fast food, express checkout at the supermarket, google to answer your questions before you even have to think about the possibilities, etc), patience is a virtue we hardly cultivate in modern society.  Perhaps, we are evolving in this sense-- maybe humans have adapted to a life of instant gratification ... and yet Mike and I can not accept this adaptation.  That word "waiting" means forcing us to be patient even when we don't want to be (y debes saber..... te queremos conocer YA-- AHORITA).  It can have a negative implies not getting what you want, at least not when you want it.  Words that might accompany waiting could be idle, frustrating, and delayed.

So, I have made a conscious decision to redefine "waiting."   "Waiting" does not mean wasting time.  "Waiting" does not mean putting life on hold and wallowing in a sense of powerlessness.  "Waiting" does not mean merely wishfully looking to tomorrow.  Aunque no puedo expresar el tanto que quiero verte y abrazarte.  On the contrary, "waiting" means really taking advantage of the time we have, living and relishing it, while maintaining both eyes on the future that is to come.  It is a chance to recharge, revisit other life goals, and focus being on the best people we can be so that when the time is right we can become the best parents possible.  This time of waiting is still time that we can and should use for good... it is still a gift until the gift of our child arrives.... and it is important for us to use it wisely with a joyful spirit.

Based on this redefinition of waiting, Mike and I have been busy with all kinds of projects-- one of the most exciting things we did recently was to take a two week trip to Japan.  We fell in love during our first adventure together with students in Europe, and something about such a removal of ourselves from everyday life revitalizes our relationship.  Travelling is a chance to really communicate, linger over long suppers, explore together, grow together, share a laugh and reminisce-- complete each others' sentences... so a trip to Japan was an incredible, romantic escape for the two of us.  We travelled with students for a week and then took advantage of our rail passes to go to Kyoto, Osaka, Takayama, Nagoya, and Tokyo.  It was the adventure of a lifetime!  (Tu papá y yo somos gran aficionados del espiritú aventerero y sabemos que ser padres será otra aventura-- Así, te deseamos que aprecies el mundo.  Queremos enseñarte a aprovecharte de toda la magia y belleza que nos rodea...... y queremos fomentar tu imaginación y creatividad.  Para nosotros, es importante brindarte una visión abierta de las miles de posibilidad que existen para ti.... y queremos darte la confianza que necesitas para agarrar las posiblidades que te sirven). 

Japan was beautiful, amazing, enchanting, and inviting-- returning home has also been a whirlwind of activities.  Mike is still working on finishing the fireplace mantel and entertainment system.... little by little, it is getting done.  He also has been working more, since he has taken on more responsibilities at work as department chair.  One of my favorite activities that we have been sharing together is going to yoga class.  We have been downward-dog-ing, warrior 1 & 2-ing, chaturanga-ing, and (my favorite) shavasana-ing together a couple of times a week.  It is amazing how rejuvenating this little bit of quiet time is....

Also, I have taken on the job of co-race manager for the INAUGURAL Labor of Love 5K race and 1 mi fun run at Tower Grove Park on Labor Day to benefit the Micah Project in Honduras-- I love to run and I have dreamed about doing something positive for Central America for a while.  (Even before meeting these other two driven moms with a passion for Honduras, I had actually gone into Big River Running to see what it would take to do something like this).   When we decided to go forward with offering the race, I had NO comprehension of how much more than signing a race management company it would take.  Furthermore, it is my vision that this race really be something special-- not just a chance for a bunch of runners to show up and punch a time clock so that they can check off another 5k on their to-do list.  Rather, I envision this race as a really inclusive experience that involves families and runners, offers LOTS of fabulous prizes from very awesome sponsors for more than just the fastest participants, and most importantly CONNECTS participants with Honduras.  In my castle in the air conception of this run, participants would leave saying to themselves, "wow!  I really had fun.... and I really understand that Honduras is NOT so far away... the people there are incredible... my heart has been moved and it would be a joy to connect with them again."  We are all brothers and sisters; just political boundaries separate us.

My other BIG plan for the year while we are waiting is something that still TERRIFIES me when I think of it.... I have made it my goal to run 12 races in 2012 (so far I am on track).  For the grand finale-- I am going to run my first (and I profess it to be my last) FULL marathon in Memphis in Decemeber.  I love running because it is my chance to think and contemplate-- but 26.2 miles-- that is a LOT of thinking!  I ran my first half marathon with my most wonderful sister (an absolute angel in my life) in 2004.  We showed up-- novices-- and were completely freaked out by the people in spandex and funny gear jogging to warm up even before the run.  How many times did we ask each other before the start gun "what have we gotten ourselves into?" .... but Dad was a runner, so we just assumed we could do it.  Now, 8 years later, I have all that nerdy gear and even the spandex that I could not believe that any sane person would wear in public.  I wonder how many miles I have run to get me to this point-- in particular, I have been wondering if I have run to Honduras yet..... I did the math on the runs I have kept up with this year and I have only run 207 miles-- in a year, maybe I run 400.... times 8 years-- yes.... I think I have arrived-- I would like to think so.  A veces, cuando quiero motivarme, me pregunto ¿con que velocidad podría moverme si yo supiera que tú estuvieras detrás de la meta de la carrera?-- y ¡zuum!  ¡Tengo energía! One of the other exciting aspects of the race is that I am raising money for St. Jude's by running.  It is a charity that stirs my heart and I absolutely adore what the staff of St. Jude's can do for kids with cancer and their families.  It is something beautiful-- a living breathing testament to faith, hope, and love-- in the midst of a disease so ugly....I am so proud to be able to dedicate my longest run to such a noble cause.

So as you can see, summer has been a blessing... we are waiting, yes.... but by my definition of waiting....

Of course the sober reality is that I will be back in school soon.... life will be busier in a different way again.... think of me waking up early at 4:30 for marathon training and Mike taking charge of his science department

.... and yes.... everyone's question-- "do we have news?"-- well, we were confirmed at the end of June at number 38, but the IHNFA committee has met since then and I know for a fact that they made some assignments... I can't say how many were removed from the top of the list, but I know that the committee is meeting again this week.  Maybe more assignments?  We are patiently waiting, with faith that our number will reach the top of the list at the perfect moment to give us the exact child that we were meant to have.... and until then we are running, planning, yoga-ing, building, working, and dreaming of the day when we can complete our family.... y para ti, Angelito de mi corazon, no dudes que estés conmigo en todas las actividades....Te queremos muchísimo..... MUCHÍSIMO-- besos y abrazos para ti... cada mañana, cada noche, cada momento posible.......