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Thursday, February 12, 2015

No one has ever been SO HAPPY with 0!

A week ago, at about this time, we saw his face for the first time!  Just an image on a cell phone screen, but it was the most AMAZING DAY ever!  Last week was THE CALL!!!  Of course, I have been told many times that the referral would come at the least expected moment, así es Dios, but I could not see how this could possibly be true since I had been clinging to my phone for weeks waiting for the call that from all accounts should have been coming at any moment.... really.... I had imagined every scenario!  In my dreams-- it could happen in the middle of class while teaching (would I break into tears and have to explain to my class?).  Maybe I would be driving home when the phone would ring and I would recognize the number knowing what words to expect.  (Would I run off the road with excitement?) If I was lucky, maybe it would happen while Mike was around so we could share the call.  I have to admit, that the exact timing of THE CALL was NOT one I anticipated.  Yet, it WAS the PERFECT moment to end the first part of our waiting.  It was the ONLY moment, I had stopped thinking about the call that we were waiting for since I had heard that we were the #1 family.  Driving down Friday afternoon to Memphis for my yearly St. Jude run (the half marathon this year, after completing my only full marathon just 2 years ago), I was still thinking that maybe the phone would ring.  Then I would have the BEST motivation to run my race.... but..... no such luck.  So, on the morning of December 6, 2014, I got up early, like always, to deal with morning nerves, pick the perfect ensemble, and fuel the run ahead.  Everything felt normal. It was a cool and muggy morning, and happily our little room at the Vista Inn was perfectly placed at corral 15 of the starting line. Mike and Celeste gave me good luck kisses on the way out the door(yes, the whole family came, even our kitten).  Then, I  met some friends, and settled into a spot at corral 4.  I was focused. My goals were not impossible, a sub 2 hour half, and no injuries-- then to be rewarded with the traditional post race lunch at the Rendezvous-- motivation!  At 8:00, the running started.  One foot in front of the other.... left then right.... the familiar pounding of feet with so much bustle in the background.  Hay demasiados detalles preciosos que recuerdo de este día-- una conversación genial con una mujer mayor empezando la carrera conmigo, el sentido de las brisas glaciales contra mi piel sudadosa, viendo los niños de St. Jude animando y sus familias en sonrisas-- y la presencia de tu papá que vino a verme.  Sabía que él tuvo tanto orgullo de mí. I ran.  I ran.  I ran some more-- knowing, as I was keeping up with one of the faster pacers, that I was setting myself up to meet my goal, and even beat my goal by a lot!!!!  Steady, I paced myself.  I thought of my friends and family supporting me.  Those who were cheering me on from miles away, and those who helped make me who I am.  Y pensé en ti-- en Honduras-- en nuestro futuro.... La familia que seremos.  Mile after mile.  I ticked them off in my mind and did the math to try to estimate my finish time.  It was a long race and I was feeling the wind, but with each mile completed, there was one less to do.  So, at mile 13, where the race separates the marathoners from the half marathoners, I nostalgically reminisced back to 2012, with gratitude for my last big race in Memphis and the countless miles I have traversed.  I knew, as I was rounding the corner, that we were at number 1 on the adoption list.  This was it!  THE LAST MILE!!!!   I felt content that this was progress.  In no time, the finish line came into sight. The runners around me were accelerating towards the end, but I found it within me to push even harder. Certainly, I have never finished another race with such speed.... and as I crossed the finish line, I felt such a HAPPINESS I can not explain.  I knew that I was glowing, inside and out!  It was a moment of elation....followed by complete disbelief.  I had finished my half marathon faster than I had ever completed one before.... by 4 minutes!  (In running, that is A LOT!)   I paused to breathe and made my way into the stands... up to the chocolate milk, where I knew Mike would be looking for me.  Behind the main gates, there he was, HANDSOME and waiting for me, and of course I gave him every detail of the race that I could think of as quickly as humanly possible.  It meant so much to me that he shared my HAPPINESS too!  So we went back to the hotel.  I stretched, took a hot shower, and changed for lunch.  No hobbling, no exhaustion.... we were out the door.  Destination- Rendezvous.  I will never experience that restaurant in the same way.  We were beyond satiated as we finished our barbecue.  Beans and rice.  Chicken sandwich. So much food!   We were still reliving memories of the race and our trip down, rehashing plans for Christmas, and just catching up-- when the phone rang.  An out of state number I recognized very well.  "Jeanette, is this a good time?  Is Mike there?"  Who would say no to that question!?!?!?!!?  I was trembling!  And at the MOST unanticipated moment-- our lives are transformed! No sweeter dessert in the world could exist-- and THE CALL (OUR REFERRAL!) was so much better than I had ever imagined it!  Tu papá y yo nos quedamos perfectamente boquiabiertos--  nuestros corazones pararon-- ¡no pudimos pensar! Escuchamos algunos detalles de tu vida por teléfono y no pudimos formar ni una pregunta.  ¡Fue una sorpresa total!Ahora, yo guardo tu foto en mi teléfono y con unos papeles importantes que siempre están conmigo.  A veces, en mi trabajo, pongo tu foto en mi escritorio y te veo mientras trabajo en la computadora.  Por la noche, duermo con tu foto debajo de mi almohada.  Trato de imaginar lo que estás haciendo y le pido a Dios que no sufras demasiado con la separación de tu vida conocida en Honduras.  Sabemos que tantos cambios te esperan y aunque serán duros, te prometemos estar siempre a tu lado con mucho amor y mucho cariño. Te hemos querido desde antes de tu nacimiento y seguiremos amándote para siempre.  Of course, after this kind of news, there is nothing left to do but celebrate!  We ate like royalty for two days!  Good hot tea from a corner coffee shop!  Cinnamon ice cream from the fancy Peabody Hotel.  A breakfast for champions (the Elvis waffles for me) at Automatic Slims.  It seemed that even our kitten Celeste understood understood the news as she darted about the tiny hotel room with uncontainable energy.  We were living in a dream!  Truly magical.  Laughing.  Happiness.  Pure unexpected JOY!  Of course, there is much that can not be shared at this point regarding our little boy, but we treasure every precious detail in the preliminary reports that we have received.  Even the littlest things-- such as his preference for fruits and his first words provide an additional picture of him in our minds.  We feel freer to dream at this point, and we are so EXCITED to share the news with friends and family.  They have been waiting so patiently too.  While there is always the question of  "what number are you?", our loved ones have been content with the vague uncertainties that we have learned to accept.  Hopefully, this news will grow in them the PEACE, LOVE and JOY that is inherent in the season.  I can say with certainty, that although Christmas has never been my favorite time of year because of all the rushing and commercialism, seeing our son's face has made this season of Advent special for me in a way that it has never been before. Waiting has given way to HOPE and this year Christmas HAS been the BEST season of 2014~ and my life!   Who can imagine what lies ahead!?!?!?!?!!!!!!  Esta noche, voy a correr con unas amigas en la ciudad para ver las luces navideñas.  Espero que sepas que en todo, pensamos en ti hijito.  Te amamos.  BESOS BESOS BESOS BESOS-- ¡no hay suficientes BESOS en el mundo para mostrarte el amor que tenemos por ti.

por ti!

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